• Why being funny is the highest British value

    Last summer I spent 2 weeks in the UK, after probably my longest time ever out of it. This time I brought Hao – despite living in Europe for 4 years it was his first time in Britain so I got to also view the country through the alien perspective: “The cars are more colourful…

  • How I lost 30 kg

    Judging from my photo library I think it was probably Tuesday 7th June 2016 and I weighed about 120 kg. It was about 6pm and I’d just come back from ALDI to buy dinner. I looked at the carrier bag of food I’d laid out on my desk, some microwave Haggis and Potato meal, some…

  • Toxic Englishness

    When I saw this 10 second clip of Michael Gove clearly high on something strong, standing in the Commons ‘at work’, something made me angry, something clicked. It’s not that ‘they despise us’ or ‘they’re laughing at us’, although given their classist conditioning both these things will be true. It’s that the Tory front bench…

  • Chicken conspiracy

    The chickens came before us – 10 million BCThe chickens could fly then, across the sea The world had felt wrong til the plot did thickenThe truth is we’re just serving the needs of big chicken We think that they’re innocent, flightless and weakThey have us where they want us, right in their beak Today…

  • Spend your attention

    Spend your attention, it doesn’t cost muchOn TikTok, Facebook and Disney Plus Spend your attention, you’ve got lots to spareSo spend it now, you don’t need to care This morning in the mirror, did you notice your eyes?Just open your apps and get a surprise Enjoy my content, it’s totally freeYour auntie and brother are…

  • Why we’re out of the woods

    If there’s one thing I learnt last year it’s that people aren’t rational. In February 2020 Covid seemed like all bad things that happen on the news; another countries tragedy. This allowed the media to do what it does best and magnify and simplify it into a morbid non-fiction story for us to emotionally respond…

  • Why you really want an Agile prime minister

    In the 90s computers were tools who’s main purpose was to create and print Word files that we could use in the real world. Now no one needs a printer because computers are the real world. I noticed in April with Hao; you don’t really have to leave your bedroom now to find, secure and…

  • A thought on ventilation notifications

    Sometimes during this pandemic I had the feeling that we were missing the point with clumsy measures and regulations. It’s like we were all told to use a plastic spoon to carve a turkey. Money and time was poured into different colours, styles and sizes of plastic spoon but people didn’t feel qualified or informed…

  • Why Netherlands is a bit boring when it comes to retail

    When I spent 3 months in Netherlands in 2013, I was filled with fresh enthusiasm – I saw Netherlands offered what the UK could not. A flat rolling landscape of safe wealthy suburbia, connected by a network of empty bike lanes. A blank canvas where you can be anything you want and no one will…

  • Trying something

    This site is for me to start writing things for my own amusement and thoughts. I imagine like: Articles for points I want to make Reviews of film, tv or music Poems